Lately, I had a dinner party at my workplace to welcome new mid-career member. There were seven people in that meeting, including its new members and myself.
Well, what is the purpose of this meeting?
The purpose is getting used to conversing with existing employees by having frank conversations with them away from the work place,and the host also knows about newcomers to the workplace.
Written in the above manner, it may sound ostentatious, but I think it's roughly the way it should be.
So, inevitably, there should be a lot of time for the new member to speak on the spot. It's desirable to develop a conversation about the person, or one that derives from the person.
I'm not talking about entertaining anyone, or that everyone should be on the alert and aware of the person. (And I'm not saying we should communicate in restricted way.)
"What are the priorities of the moment" should be considered.
For example, it would be good to talk about the person's previous job, the impetus for changing jobs, and hobbies, instead of talking about recent job worries, bad comments from the boss, or recent clients. (This is just an example, so any topic can be used as an opportunity to get to know the person, even if the question is not directly related to the person. Just so there's no misunderstanding, job worries and bad-mouthing your boss are also admirable and interesting topics in different places).
No matter what, I don't think it's desirable to make a mistake in making small talk or telling your own story more than necessary because it's not suitable for the purpose of the occasion.
At the beginning of the dinner party, there were a few times when the atmosphere seemed to be in the middle of an intimate conversation or when people started talking about themselves, so I managed to change the direction.
(I may or may not be in the right mindset, but considering my priorities, I wanted to avoid a situation in which a mid-career member, in an unfamiliar environment, is forced to listen to the people around him one-sidedly, smiling amiably at a story he doesn't understand, because it's not desirable.)
No matter what, most of the members who came to the meeting were kind and caring, so I think the meeting ended in a good atmosphere with little to no great direction from me.
In this case, I mentioned a dinner party for a welcome party for mid-career employees, but of course this also applies to business meetings, etc.
In meetings, people who start talking about a topic that comes to mind and then start talking about it without a clear conclusion or action can be quite harsh to those around them, and they are also bad at it because they are not aware of it. (When I point this out, the person in this pattern gets pissed off and shuts up.)
In my commandments, I try to speak with an awareness of what should be prioritized in the moment.
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