Up front: I'm the type who doesn't go to nightclubs, and even when I go I don't enjoy them. I don't especially like club music, I can't dance, and I'm bad at approaching women — I've been a few times and don't remember enjoying it much.
Lately, with COVID, you might wonder if nightclub culture itself will disappear — but there's demand, and like other night-life cultures it probably won't vanish.
Setting clubs' merits aside, about the exchange in the title.
I barely have friends who invite people with "Want to go clubbing?" — and even if I did, I'm not the type who gets invited, so I don't have that exchange.
Around me, more people are the type who don't get what's fun about clubs and question whether clubs should exist.
Clubs don't suit me so I can't enjoy them, but I have zero intent to mock them. For people who enjoy clubs, it's probably a great space — out of the ordinary, where you can make noise however you like.
And friendships where someone invites you with "Want to go clubbing?" and you can immediately say "Sounds good" must be really easy. Of course it doesn't have to be clubs — any relationship where you say "Want to go to XX?" and they lightly go along with "Sounds good" is a good one.
Cultures differ by country so you can't generalize, but I think more people in the world can't enjoy clubs and parties than can.
Some, like me, dislike the atmosphere of dancing to music, or dislike situations where you talk to — or get talked to by — strangers, even short of pickup.
That's why people who can enjoy that environment impress me purely — they seem tough.
Why this topic? Because I recently remembered something from the past.
I was invited to a party-like gathering hosted by an acquaintance. Lots of people were there.
I barely knew anyone, but as soon as the host spotted me he said, "That table over there only has a few people and isn't lively — go join them," so I crashed it, and "I'm about to do something funny in front of everyone," so I did a slightly embarrassing silly show when I look back — various things to help liven up the party.
At that party I was performing myself at a higher energy than usual, so for a few days after I slightly regretted going too wild.
But a few days later, when I saw the host, he said, "Thanks so much for that. You're amazing — you talked to all kinds of people without getting embarrassed, and you performed in front of everyone. I'd asked others too, and they wouldn't do it at all."
During the party I hadn't had much to do and was just helping the host without thinking; after, I'd regretted it — but when he said that, I felt glad I'd made him happy. Afterward not only the host but first-time people from the party remembered me and struck up conversations.
It ended up as a slightly silly, unrefined conclusion — that being game for requests and enjoying whatever is for the best — but I realized: few people can enjoy out-of-the-ordinary spaces or play the clown on the spot, so trying it can become valuable for someone. You don't even have to embarrass yourself there — just diving into such a space without hesitation and enjoying it fully has real value.
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