Expressing creativity

This time I'll write whatever I've been thinking, in a wandering way. The jumps will be worse than usual.

I've been busy lately and haven't written much for the blog.
Still, I strongly want to write — I think about it almost every day.
I like putting words down, and uploading a new piece to ZUUHE BLOG feels good.
By the way, I write a diary every day. I write it in a notebook in the morning — starting the day that way somehow works well. Recommended.

I've been posting on stand.fm reasonably often. I have a conversation partner, and it's an easy way to sort my head — feels good.
I had no confidence in audio at all, but it might suit me.

With both the blog and audio, I re-read and re-listen a fair amount.
Saying I like my own writing and voice sounds shady, but somehow it calms me down.

I have a habit of consuming the same favorites over and over.
With films, there are about three I love that I've watched more than a hundred times each.
Others I liked, I rewatch too.

I'm basically easily bored — but once something hooks me, I can enjoy the same thing at the same intensity forever.
Of course I already know what scene and line come next, so it's a predetermined kind of pleasure.

In novels, manga, and films alike, there are moments when I think, "Ah — if I could have created this line, this scene, that alone would make life worth it."
Not at the work level — at the line or scene level. If you could think that up, you wouldn't need anything else.

Lately work is busy and challenging — fun, but I no longer have time to read, sink into hobbies, or think slowly.
My mind tends to fly in all directions, so without that time, input feels heavily restricted.
Work has definitely gotten more enjoyable since I changed jobs — but there are trade-offs.

When you learn something new, can you use it for anything? Honestly, more often you can't — and I'm realizing that intermittent, taste-driven enjoyment is what matters.

It's banal, but "what matters to me?" is the kind of question you can call the most important in life without exaggeration.
Of course the point isn't to settle an answer — always with the preface "for me right now."
Situations keep changing, and there are constraints from people, work, environment — but you still need time to focus on yourself alone and think about yourself.

Ah — about the title: I've been thinking a lot lately about expressing creativity.
Frankly, I'd never consciously thought about expressing my own creativity in life.
Because the artistic things the word "creativity" brings to mind aren't my strengths.
I'm not good at drawing, singing, dancing, or instruments. Enjoying them as a receiver was only average too.

But among changes I've noticed since changing jobs, there are preferences around document structure and design.
Meaning: I want this design this way; this text in this order with these words.
Not only work docs — I want freedom with my haircut, and to wear clothes I like. (This is starting to sound like a high-schooler's wishlist.)
I'm very attached to this blog too. Layout, writing, wording — whoever says what, I like it. I'm fond of it.

So what I'm saying is: I've never thought of becoming a designer or going into the arts, but having lots of chances to express your own creativity like this is wonderful.
Level and skill depend on the person and environment — but if you find opportunities in a place that suits you and can do it your way, that's happiness.

Output isn't just the content — it's a set with the place and situation where you express creativity.
Just yesterday I finished Kazuo Ishiguro's latest, Klara and the Sun.
If there's a world you can perceive and one you can't, the latter is obviously larger.
Squeezing novel-reading into a busy stretch somehow helped me catch a good feeling.

That's all. Even more rambling than usual, but I enjoyed it. Thank you as always.