Ups and downs in form

I let my guard down and a long time passed since the last update.
I reread the previous post. Looking at the title: wait, did I write this?? Then reading: oh right, I did, yeah yeah. But I don't remember much...

The environment changed for a while, and I was a bit worn out by time rushing by at storm pace. I've gone independent and somehow haven't died — living along fine.

If asked whether it's fun, I can answer that it is — being in that kind of environment is happiness.
Oddly though, people get used to things, and you start wanting more money, more work, more time, more stimulation.

In its own way that's wonderful, and proof you're healthy. At the same time you want to put a hand on your own shoulder from a bird's-eye view and ask, hey, are you really okay?

Anyway — I'd braced for it after going independent, but of course there are periods when form is good and when it's bad.
That "form" ties straight into daily life, so it's a very important point.
Above all, dealing with bad form is tricky. Hmm, what to do. Improve, that's all.

There are things you can control and things you can't — you don't need to think about what you can't.
Improve what you can, then wait for results. Results are unknown.
Ordinary as it sounds: don't get trapped by short-term outcomes; focus on improvement. That's all you can do.
Not "that's how it should be" — that's all there is.

Seen that way, ups and downs in form are a very simple problem to solve.

By the way, reading old posts — saying it myself is odd, but a lot of the older ones write more solidly. Hard to put — they have content.
Whether different parts of the brain are in use, or my head was literally sharper before, I don't know.
However busy, I have to keep the habit of writing coherent pieces.

For a while before, swallowing huge amounts of information wasn't hard at all. Anything at all, I took it in one after another.

As a felt sense, over the past half year or so I've gotten a bit dim. Mentally there's room, but the mind turns slower.
Like I switched bike gears wrong on a hill and I'm still pedaling that way.

Swallow more information and write coherent pieces. Also restore lifestyle habits, change what I eat, exercise. At minimum those I need to bring back.
Every day is happy, so I'll make a bit of time and get the feel back.

P.S. (a small work note)
To whoever contacted the blog around October 16.
It was a lovely inquiry and I'd love to reply — but the email address entered seems wrong...
It bounces with an error. If you can, please inquire again~!