As I wrote in the last post, on New Year's Eve I went to the combat-sports event RIZIN.
After the fights I went to Ueno and ate toshikoshi soba with a friend.
Over the meal we got onto the topic of what new things to try this year.
I casually floated an idea I had vaguely been thinking about — I want to do this; what do you think?
My friend said, "If you're doing it, I'm in!"
Given the nature of the proposal, it was a bit hard for me alone, so if I were to do it I would need his help.
Helping would be a big decision for him, so it is not something you agree to lightly.
Still, when I brought it up a little, he immediately said he was in.
After that, when I said I had not decided yet and was still unsure, he mixed in a joke with something solid: I'll help you — you're useless without me.
We had had a bit to drink, and with the special New Year's Day lift, I felt something like an insight.
First: if someone else brought the same idea to this friend, would he help? I thought no.
In my circle, our trust is the deepest I have, and I think he sees me the same way.
So for this project, you could say he would not have moved unless the proposal came from me.
Stretching it a bit: that means this is something "only I can do."
I have thought several times before about what only I can do.
Usually the answers were skills, experience, or my own formative stories.
But then the thought comes that plenty of people can do it better, know more, or feel it more strongly — so it does not feel like something only I can do.
On the other hand — maybe I am overreaching — getting this friend to support what I want to do may be something only I can do.
The interesting part: he is not rating my ability, skills, or experience; he helps because he thinks he has to support this guy. That is the point.
In short: for any reason at all, moving people only you can move may be what only you can do.
Clear examples are outstanding results, experience, character, or money — but this case showed those are not required.
Abstracted, it might be trust — but not only that; sometimes it is "if I leave this guy alone it will be bad, so I have to help." If I ever run a business, I may lean more on asking for help that way than on results, experience, or character.
Maybe obvious, but for me it was a fairly big notice.
Afterward I shared the insight with another friend.
When I said maybe this is what "only I can do" means, he answered: "So you're thinking about what you can do based on your relationships. Interesting."
Ah — you can also frame it as "what you can do within your relationships." Very interesting feedback.
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