Being a good person

Last month I finally posted nothing at all. Bad.
Work has settled a lot compared with a little while ago, and I can say with some confidence that I cleared one hard stretch.
It was tough, but it worked out. Good.

Before the main topic: I have started looking for work. I may also be able to introduce projects from here.
I updated the "About me" page below — if you have time and interest, please get in touch.
About me

Also, if you do not mind, I would like to interview readers.
It is an experiment: chat for about an hour, then turn some topics and impressions into a blog post.
If you are interested, please.

Now to the point. First, environment. Obviously, environment matters a lot.
Mid-work at a place that has looked after me since right after I went independent, I suddenly felt how much less of the extra stress I suffered before independence there really is.

Abstractly, for example:
- Conversation actually works (this is hugely important)
- Work moves fast
- Everyone is willing to adapt to day-to-day ops changes
and so on. There are many people I respect.

What is wonderful: when the environment is strong, just "being there" has value.
Even if you are underpowered, just being there and hanging on raises your baseline ability.

Put the other way: individual effort cannot really fight the force of an environment.
A while back, in a certain place, I felt how empty it was to just keep grinding in a tough environment.
(Of course it was not only the environment — my lack of ability played a big part too.)

A passage I wrote then, briefly quoted. Full post

"After various twists, I skipped the usual job hunt and joined a company through an acquaintance. Some time after joining, there was a period when I thought, 'Ah, I can't do this anymore.'"

The context is not exactly the same meaning, but back then I tried to somehow get results on my own even if the environment was not great — and however you looked at it, it was hard.

I feel again that nothing beats field experience in a good environment.

Lately work has been stabilizing and the layer I touch is gradually rising. My worry lately is that on specialty and skill growth I do feel a ceiling.
So I want to widen scope where I am, and since I became a sole proprietor, look at more environments. I want to try new things too.
(I have a few leads, so I am contacting people who click in areas I care about. I will write more on that later.)

Next — slightly at odds with that worry — my values around skills have shifted a bit.
When people want to work with you, what comes first is probably not skills. I feel that more strongly now.
I think it all the time when hiring and when working day to day.

Before skills, "are they a good person?" seems critical.
Cynics, people who are overly self-protective, narrow people — they are very hard to work with.
Work is not always strictly defined and then followed; when you see behavior that feels off along the way, it is a real headache.

Do not misunderstand: I am not saying communication skills over skills.
Rather, something like the skill of being a good person "on the surface" feels very important.
Especially for a sole proprietor like me, I think whether you can do that is life or death.

Thinking about this reminds me of people, right before I went independent, who would dump work on others or yank the ladder the moment something went wrong.
At the time it was incomprehensible and exhausting.

Looking back, though, it was rational for them in their own way.
Evaluation is always done by others.
For them, not letting that evaluation drop was high priority, and they poured themselves into it.
Focusing on what was in front of them and delivering results ranked lower.
More precisely: to deliver results, they would smash anything that might bring risk to themselves with full force.
Personally I feel the energy spent smashing that is a waste, and at least long-term it seems disadvantageous.

In the words above: seeing that behavior, you do not think "good person."
You have to keep distance, and you do not want to work together.

This is subjective too — maybe I look the same to them, so we keep each other in check.

That is it for today. This month I will write at least two more.