I managed to get up quite early today, so I thought I would write a blog post. It has been warming up, and the weather these past few days has been really pleasant.
Speaking of which — the life I want to make real right now. It matters to me, but I had not written it on the blog.
Values this important are exactly what this blog should hold, but I had forgotten. (Or maybe I had written bits of it here and there.)
Still vague, but I want to switch fully to a morning person: work in the morning, exercise at midday, a little work at night, and be asleep by nine.
I am not a night owl now either, but work still chases me.
Lately I have been very busy. Life is less stressful than a while ago, but I still wake early and work late every day.
Life is clearly happier relative to before, but is it the ideal? No.
I still have to check messages around the clock, and when I go to bed early and wake to a chat app full of mentions aimed at me, I feel worn out.
It feels like the whole day might be ruined.
I exercise when I can and find time to read, but meals get uneven and a low-grade chronic tiredness continues.
A while back, even when busy, waking early on days off, going to a nearby café, writing the blog, reading, and sinking into thought was a lot of fun.
I strongly feel I am lucky in my work environment. I am surrounded by wonderfully dedicated, excellent people.
If I have a complaint, it is probably my own lack of ability and skill.
Truly excellent people can work on flexible terms for themselves in any environment.
If I am dissatisfied, living the way I want means taking risk and building that environment with my own hands.
So what is my ideal? A bit embarrassing, but writing is fun, and a life of creating as I like — creative work, building simple sites — sounds good. (How convenient.)
Haruki Murakami-style: wake early every day, decide how many pages to write, finish work when that is done, then run or listen to jazz and relax — that is something I admire.
Even outside creating, I want to carry out things I think are good, as they are.
I also want to cut off digital devices. If they are there I get distracted, so not needing them is the ideal.
Ed Sheeran once got sick of texting a friend while talking over a meal with his father, and now he only takes email and replies about once a week.
A wonderful stance. I do it too — when I am with a partner or friend I care about, I am thinking about work messages or other chores.
Those moments always make me look back: what am I treating as important?
I am always thinking about what matters to me.
One of the finest experiences in my life was a few days in Karuizawa with my partner.
I was between jobs, digital devices cut off; we walked in calm weather, ate good food, read books.
Whatever I am doing, that stays in my head — if asked what the ideal life is, that experience comes up. My original experience of the ideal.
I feel it is time to start taking risk myself and building those environments.
I started this blog because daily life was boring and I wanted a place to dump my thoughts. I hope this blog can become some kind of trigger too.
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