Parenting and routines
Some time has passed since our child was born.
I remember someone saying, "If you don't have kids and work goes well, that's the default." I understand a little of what they meant now. (Though I'm still at the very beginning of the beginning.)
Lucky or unlucky, work wasn't going that well even before kids, so I'm safe (out!).
Jokes aside: parenting is that hard to control.
Kids stay cute, but the environment around parenting often piles on stress.
Even if I work at the office during the day and leave early for parenting, the remaining work barely advances.
I can't get a solid block of time; the to-do list stacks up.
And that's exactly when new work keeps arriving, so urgency accumulates.
When I finally get the baby to sleep and it looks like a few hours of rest, it's already late and I have no stamina left.
I find time for kickboxing and training to stay fit, but output is clearly down. Sleep deprivation too — energy is low.
In that, I have to figure out how to raise daytime performance.
One thing that felt effective: the importance of routines.
As above, when plans collapse and to-dos don't clear, a sense of stagnation — even regression — grows.
On the scale of a life, parenting is invaluable experience, but you can't ignore the feelings of each moment.
When work in front of you isn't cleared, or you can't get time for important thinking, fatigue plus a confused head can make you imagine the worst ahead and sink into gloom.
In those times, just doing the daily routines I've set (I currently have about 30) calms me a lot mentally.
Of course plans slip and sometimes I can't even finish half — but deciding what to do without overthinking, and quietly doing it, feels like being saved.
If even short-term goals feel uncertain, just focus on daily actions.
I started routines in earnest about six months before the birth, and I'm deeply glad I'd built the habit before the child arrived.
The accumulation of relationships
An old workplace colleague contacted me.
A mutual acquaintance was getting married, and they asked if I wanted to join a long-overdue celebration drink.
It had been several years since we'd last spoken.
I've moved to Osaka and we have a child, so I politely declined.
Then that colleague gave me encouraging words — but in a special phrasing that made me glad.
I can't write the details, but we'd once had a real clash.
So given that past, the words were hard to imagine — I was a bit surprised.
Maybe they still hold dark feelings inside; still, I thought it was better to receive the words sincerely.
I kept recalling them the next day — they left a special feeling.
In life, there are occasional moments when your impression of someone shifts for the better. (※ Of course the opposite too. "Yep, same as ever," and you sigh. That happens more often.)
Reconnecting with someone the relationship had gone quiet with, warming up again, and feeling your impression improve is a fresh, pleasant sensation.
Moments when you feel the accumulation of past relationships wasn't wrong somehow feel like being saved.
That's all for today.
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