I turned 30

A few months ago I turned 30.

As I wrote earlier, our child was born over half a year ago, so the schedule centers on the child.

Needless to say, the child is extremely cute. Too cute — sometimes out of nowhere the dearness itself moves me and I almost tear up.

Looking back at about the first three months: not much of a sleeper; even one continuous hour was a win. Nights of course, and daytime waking hours were almost all crying.

To stop crying I had to hold and walk constantly — physically brutal.

So now, even with fussy stretches, full-on screaming outside night waking is gone. Feels like another world.

Parenting of course, and work was extremely busy too — stress nearly broke my head. More than ever I pushed work efficiency and systematization. Late to it, but without parenting I wouldn't have gotten this serious. Results-okay, but never again.

As before: moving to Osaka before the birth was an unbelievable fine play. Changing the living environment definitely cut stress.

Lately the child is often smiling happily in daytime — extremely cute. Not crawling yet, but scooting around — tough.

It'll get harder still, no doubt — and moments of cuteness will increase too.

My parents seem very happy since becoming grandparents.

We don't visit that often, but we share on "Mitene!" (a kid-photo sharing app), and my wife carefully makes physical albums and periodically sends them to my parents. They seem overjoyed looking at them.
(※ Mitene! is an amazing service. Surprisingly easy and useful.)

Soon we'll take the child to meet my grandmother — for her, a great-grandchild.

What does meeting your great-grandchild feel like? I can't help sensing the mystery of life.

Enough on parenting — work is going quite smoothly. Stability in a good sense.

You could say seeds planted since going independent have started sprouting a little.

The feeling: scattered past experience connecting and taking substance — moments of that increased. Feels like I'm accumulating experience properly.

But these work sprouts are still fragile — blow and they fly away.

Looking back, most things I planted as "portfolio" were hopelessly impossible waste. Better to have slept.

Only things where I put my own money on the line, moved my hands, and struggled while tense even make it onto the table of maybe working.

Part of me wants to rest on what's stacked so far — but against expected return it's still not enough.

Choosing colleagues myself is an irreplaceable blessing of work environment — but work itself, including client work, is painful, so I'm trial-and-erroring how to build matching return.

Still important: don't mistime when to take risk.

Results often include luck and can't be controlled — so if I avoid fatal wounds, given enough time I think things work out.
(Around me I see people fail from gamble-like methods before ability even matters.)

Personally: I've started caring more about physical condition than before.

Hard work, and drinking too — clearly affect mid-to-long-term performance more than a few years ago. Plus parenting: no room to wreck my body.

I keenly feel many things framed as mentality problems ultimately reduce to physical problems.

Habitual exercise and sleeping as long as possible — that's the base of everything; meditation and thinking methods have relatively smaller impact on condition.

Extreme: a serious illness and everything ends. Lately I even did a PET scan for cancer prevention. Few people go at this age, but the loss if it hits is too large — worth going.

Full checkup before the baby was fine, so next maybe a brain dock?

That's all this time.