Married, child born, base moved to Osaka — mostly office within walking distance of home, and only light drinks when friends visit Osaka from afar. I barely meet people.
Then opportunities to talk with new people shrink. At work I meet first-timers, but unless it's a new project that goes deep, or new hiring, I don't deeply engage with new people much.
Put another way: there's no necessity to expand friendships, so unless I'm proactive, the same life continues.
I recall Kenichi Ohmae's three ways to change values:
The latter two: moved to Osaka, plus parenting — tentatively done. Who I spend time with is the same.
Work earnestly and skill rises as a matter of course, but it tends toward continuous growth; discontinuous capability growth opportunities are few.
Right after thinking that, I had an online meeting with someone I'd briefly known a few years ago.
It was meant as a light mutual update while introducing a new project.
His company is in the same industry but on a completely different scale of projects and output quality, so I prepared questions on what operations produce that and went in.
It became me interviewing him; he answered variously — and if I collapse them into one answer, he said: "It comes down to having many friends."
He contacts people who interest him, becomes friendly, and when related projects appear, asks and gets cooperation.
In vulgar phrasing: "involvement power leveraging a rich network" — but he's not only broker-sales; he owns quality too, and above all his character is perfect.
No calculating vibe — in a good sense, it just turned out that way.
I asked other things too, and strangely many issues connected back to this element; a very unique answer that clicked.
As above, I'm already satisfied with daily life and felt no necessity to expand friendships — so this was a good experience noticing that element was missing across the board.
P.S. Digression, unrelated: a recent parenting memory.
Our child still isn't even one.
At bedtime we put them on a large Gootarag mat, and either my wife or I co-sleeps (rotating; the other sleeps in bed).
That night I had midnight work piled up, so I didn't co-sleep — worked in another room carefully enough to notice crying right away.
Then from the living room I heard night crying.
Usually it's a little sleepy crying that settles, or crying until a parent comes.
That time they seemed to notice I — who should have been co-sleeping — wasn't there, and the night crying didn't settle.
I left the work room right away toward the living room.
From a bright PC room into a dark living room, eyes not adjusted, watching my feet toward the bed where the voice was.
Then I heard pat-pat-pat.
Apparently the child, crawling, had noticed my footsteps and was coming toward me.
They reached my feet and I picked them up.
The whole sequence hit me in the chest. What a dear being.
I was worn out by endless tasks working at night, a bit disappointed "again..." rushing to night-cry duty — and they cried without restraint, innocently, desperately trying to cling to me.
Our child brings new discoveries every day, but this was especially memorable lately.
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