Flattered

The other day I saw a post.

It said that as you get older, when talking with younger people, you more often flatter them, or overreact with gratitude at their advice as needed.

It also had the nuance that this felt like putting on an act and was exhausting — but I, on the contrary, recognized myself strongly as the "young person" in that story, and it hit close to home.

I'll say it without fear of shame: (especially at work) I look back and am very grateful that many "adults" flattered me and let me learn a great deal.

I went independent young, so I often faced people more than a generation older.

I was on the vendor side — the supporting side — and, rather grandly, the side giving advice.
So I was stubborn about showing them I had something the average young person didn't. (And would you believe it: I wrote that in the past tense, but I'm still being stubborn about it now!)

Most people were, literally, mean enough not to take me seriously from the start — but looking back, it was a relief that plenty of people also patiently stuck with this obviously shallow kid.

Even though it was obvious I didn't have enough in me, they sometimes flattered this junior, or showed they were impressed by my comments.

At the time I thought, "Yes! Because I was excellent!" — but the more experience I gain, the more I recall how shallow I was then, and I could die of embarrassment.

From when I went independent, I meant to accept that whenever results didn't come it was my responsibility — but I think I still got precious experience because, when results didn't come, the other party didn't push me away, and worried through it with me.

That I'm lucky enough to still be scraping by independently is not something I can think of as "I was evaluated entirely fairly and kept performing."
A lot of luck stacked up, and among that, without a doubt, there were "people who flattered me," who often gave me encouragement.

The other day, remembering how embarrassing I was then — less capable than I am now — I bought a product from a company I'd once done business with, and felt that gratitude again.

If they happen to look at a customer list and think, "Ah, that phony bought something!" — that would be awkward in its own way, but if I take it as a warning to my former self, that awkwardness is cheap.